FORGIVENESS
We all want it quickly. Forgive and forget sounds great when we are the one seeking forgiveness.
But what
about when we are wronged? What about when we are hurting, broken down by
something someone has done? How about if the offense was so hurtful we just can’t forgive?
Or is it
that we don’t want to forgive?
We often
tend to take a ‘righteous’ stance when we are on the end of giving or
withholding forgiveness, don’t we? We are in the right, the other person is
wrong. We are the wounded; we deserve to lick our wounds for a while, to make
the other person deal with our pain. After all, they did something terrible,
they don’t deserve our forgiveness!
Please
understand I say these things because I have been there. I know what it is like
to be on the receiving end of someone’s “righteous anger”…and sadly I have been
on the supposedly “righteous” end. I have learned (and am still learning daily)
that only one human being ever lived whose anger was truly righteous, and that
man was Jesus Christ. Now, I know I’m no Jesus. No one is. No one could be.
Thankfully, I can say with joy that He has taken that burden from us. He was
righteous because we can’t be. There is nothing righteous about us. The Bible
tells us “all have sinned and fall
short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, emphasis mine) When we consider someone else’s actions, and judge them to be
wrong - even sinful - and take offense, treat them badly, continually bring up
all the other actions of their past that seem to support our judgment, or even
simply make a point of not speaking to them because we find their presence
distasteful, we are judging their sin from our perceived superiority. After
all…we would never behave in such a
manner. We say to ourselves “yes, the Bible says we’re all sinful…but thank God
I’m not THAT sinful!”
But if we
read that verse again, and do so in light of what Jesus taught, we begin to see
a bigger picture than our own perspective affords us. Consider these verses,
spoken by Jesus:
But I tell you, anyone who is angry
with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his
brother, “Raca,” is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says “you
fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matt. 5: 22)
“Do not judge, or you too will be
judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the
measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matt. 7:1-2)
In Matthew
5, “Raca” is a word that means “empty” used in reference to a person to mean
“empty headed,” or a fool. Basically, name-calling and judging. The Jewish
leaders considered this wrong enough to be punishable by law. Jesus considers
it a curse, serious enough to put us “in danger of the fire of hell.” When we
demean others, look down on them, call them names such as “sinner,” “cheater,” “druggie,” or worse names, we are
cursing them! When we say they are no good, foolish, ill behaved, or more
specific descriptions (“he’s controlling,” “she’s easy” “all they do is
gossip”) we are showing contempt, and considering ourselves to be better than
they are.
We are
judging.
It may all
seem like truth to us. By golly, we know what the Bible says is wrong! But
Jesus says don’t do it! We are not righteous; therefore we do not have the
right. Remember Matthew 7: 1-2? Jesus is very plain…”Do not judge.” And He doesn’t stop there. He goes on to explain
that if we do judge others (and who doesn’t?), we will also be judged in the same way we judge others, and in the
same measure we used! OUCH! What if Jesus judged us the same way we judge
others? Because we know the Bible, or because we believe we have a good grasp
of what is right and what is wrong, or because we are Christians, or “godly
people,” we judge people who do not meet those standards to be “sinners.” But
guess what? ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So, what if
Jesus looks at our shortcomings and
judges us “sinner”?
Loved
ones…our standards are NOT God’s. We see some sins as worse than others. God
just sees sin. So, if He is judging us according to how we judge others, where
do we stand? Where do you stand? Where do I stand? Do we want to be like the
man in the parable, who was forgiven much (that’s us…forgiven ALL by God
through Jesus) but turned around and demanded of a fellow worker (that’s the
others around us) to pay something he knew he was owed? Remember what happened? Because the worker
turned around, after being forgiven, and was not forgiving to his fellow
sinner, the master judged him according to how he judged another. He was
ordered thrown into prison and tortured until he could pay what he owed. The point:
If we withhold forgiveness to “punish” someone else, we, too, will be punished!
(This is why you may have heard that when you forgive, YOU are the one set free!)
Most of us,
at some point, have felt as if someone “owes” us something. Something they did
or said was hurtful to us; they behaved badly; they spoke harshly or
disrespectfully. They broke our trust. We are hurt, and we are angry.
We think
they should see things our way (after all, we are right! Just look in the
Bible…)
We don't just want an apology, we want a heartfelt apology (and of course we get to judge if it's truly heartfelt!).
We think
they should be punished, to get what they “deserve.”
We want
them to endure shame a little longer, believing that not only should they feel
bad, but they should feel bad until we
think they’ve been punished enough.
Let me
repeat Matthew 5:22…
“…anyone who is angry with his
brother is subject to judgment.”
Matthew
6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you. But
if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”
(emphasis added).
When the
world tells us we have the “right” to be angry, Jesus tells us otherwise. Jesus
says “…all have sinned” (Romans
3:23, emphasis added). When we look at another in comparison with ourselves,
and judge their actions to be more sinful than our own and deserving of our
unforgiveness, we forget that God has a different perspective.
“…all our righteous acts are as filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”
(Isaiah 64:6).
And still
God forgave us.
Can we do
any less?
